I spent a lot of time thinking of what to post this week for Mother’s Day.  I am super crazy close with my mom, who is such an unbelievable person and the best Grammy ever to my 3 boys, and I could probably come up with some funny stories for you about her….but I had a thought yesterday (felt like a comical epiphany) and giggled to myself and realized it was the perfect way to define myself as a mom.  On Cinco de Mayo, circa Covid-19, I actually had a busy day between a long social distance beach walk with a friend, driving my son to a social distance hang out with his girlfriend, working out via zoom with my trainer, picking up some food we needed, and eventually enjoying a social distance margarita happy hour in my friend’s yard.  Somehow, both times my two high school boys wanted lunch, I was unavailable. I decided that the way I handled lunch was really representative of my mothering approach and personality.  Some moms would have said no to their friends distance walking invitation or their social distance happy hour—putting their boys needs first.  Other moms would have said 15 and 17 year old boys can open the fridge and figure out lunch, (and in truth, I know they should/can).  My mothering style sits somewhere between Bad Moms Carla (Kathryn Hahn) and This Is Us Rebecca Person (Mandy Moore). In a bowl, I took a big scoop of pulled pork I bought prepared from the market and placed it in the microwave with a side of a sliced, soft roll on a plate. Then, before I pulled out of the driveway, two separate times, I texted them “pulled pork in the microwave and roll cut on a plate above the toaster … heat and scoop.” And voila - mediocre mother of the year!  I know that what is important is my insane and unconditional love for them; my complete happiness being a boy mom; my joy watching them play sports and taking them to professional sports; my encouragement of their interests and achievements; my protecting them, teaching them and guiding them and the emotional connections we have. But, as far as my mothering skills and abilities go and where I stand on being a mom/being my own person, heat and scoop is pretty much the perfect metaphor.  I have rules but they are super reasonable and I understand when they are broken.  I have expectations but they are very realistic and I support them along the way.  I love being with my friends and socializing and therefor always carve out the time for that.  I enjoy working and when the time was right for me I started my own business.  My husband and I still date and travel (always have) albeit leaving typed, detailed, bulleted, dated and highlighted notes down to the uniform for a game in a labeled ziplock bag… but I won’t miss seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers on tour in Amsterdam just because I am a mom.  I cook a mean breakfast, make sure they have lunch (money), but then I sometimes forget to buy or cook dinner, and if I remember, I very easily might burn it.  There are so many corny ways to sum up my mothering like everything in moderation or finding the right balance but what really resonated with me is heat and scoop!

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the mom’s reading this, with a special shoutout to my mom Arlene, my stepmom Barbara, and my mother in law Marion. I wish everyone good health, lots of hugs and love but also a big fat drink of your choice and a kick ass pair of shoes!